Tolian Horoshilina

Tolian Horoshilina (Толян Хорошилина) is personage of utopia Tartaria

General spoiler
Мать Толяна, Настя, происходит из династии воров в законе. До Бигпуфа, Настя работает в МВД (Министерство вагинальных дел) сперва рядовой призывницей; а затем, благодаря родственным связям, администраторшей. Внимательно следит за качеством обслуживания клиентов и всегда спрашивает их, "хороши ли наши дамы?". За это получает прозвище "Хорошилина", которое становится её фамилией. Она передаёт эти фамилию своему сыну Толяну.

Толян показывает успехи в восстановлении промышленности Норги, работая менеджером и затем - судебным исполнителем, обеспечивая выполнение условий договоров, заключаемых между строительными компаниями.

Умение улаживать кофликты приносит Толяну популярность. У Толяна есть некоторые идеи, как, с его точки зрения, должна распределяться ответственность между компаниями в случае неумышленного срыва договора, и публикует их в виде серии статей. Любовники/клиенты Насти Хорошилиной уговаривают его представить свои статьи в виде предвыборной программы на выборах координатора. Толян выигрывает эти выборы и становится координатором Норги.

Толян интересуется деятельностью Моздока Цукерберга и пытается понять, кто это, хитрый жулик или гениальный девелопер. Толян помогает Моздоку получить федеральный грант на очистку ядерных отходов, но склоняется ко второй гипотезе (жулик). Толян готовит громкий судебный процесс над Цукербергом и его соучастниками, но неожиданный успех лабораторий Моздока вынуждает Толяна изменить своё мнение о проекте Моздока и Толян выступает в поддержку Моздока.

Interview to BBC
Candid Hitchcock (CH): Mister Horoshilina, thank you, that you agreed to explain to our readers your position.

Tolian Horoshilina (TH): It is my job.

CH: By the law, you should explain you for Tartarians, but you agreed..

TH: For the fee. I am just employed.

CH: You agreed to answer the sharp, non-polight questions..

TH: It is also my job.

CH: Why did you decide to participate as candidate at the election of coordinator?

TH: Several friends asked me to do this. Well, customers of my mother.

CH: Could you tell us about your mother?

TH: She is fine. I am sure, she watches us. Hello, Mom!

CH: What kind of business does your mother?

TH: She is sexworker. Artist.

CH: Sorry, I do not understand..

TH: Prostitute. Bitch. She does it really well, and still, many visitors use her service.

CH: In many countries, this would be considered as kind of Kompromat..

TH: Not here. This is just art – as painting, as performance.

CH: The performance implies spectators..

TH: Yes, of course. You and your readers can download movies of her performance. Type "Nasty Horoshilina", she should be first in the list.

CH: Could you say anything about your father?

TH: Sorry, I cannot. Neither Mom nor I are so curious to investigate this.. Do you mean my biologic father?

CH: Sorry for asking that..

TH: Do not worry. No problem. If you are interested, you may dig this. I think, my father can be found by the DNA analysis. Few thousand probes, and you'll get the result.

CH: Perhaps, this is not good topic to discuss.. Better, tell me, how did you explain to your electors, that namely you are best candidate? Sorry that I ask these questions, but this discussion is for the people, who knows almost nothing about Tartaria, and even less about you..

TH: I just suggested the way to leave in peace. No wars. No conflicts.

CH: Is it doable?

TH: Of course, not! I mean, the best approach for this. Each time, when you do something serious and important, the conflicts arise. The legislation should be arranged in such a way, that they are resolved at very beginning. Neither Constitution, nor penal code cover all the cases. So, the coordinators handle this, playing with the appropriate part of the national budget.

CH: Do you think, the conflict regulation is important for your country?

TH: Yes... Hmm. You told me, that you'll ask the sharp, unpolite questions.. This does not seem to be one of that kind.. Well, I try to explain. Our laws are so good, that even bad people can use it. So, our people behave, as if they would be good. Avoid conflicts, in the sense I had mentioned. I just follow this way. But our laws are not perfect. I think how to improve it. I think, they can be even better. I mean, the National laws. To follow better our Constitution.

CH: You consider yourself as a patriot?

TH: No. How many times I should repeat, that I just do my job? I do my job as well as I can. My mother does the same with her job. By the way, base or word "horoshilina" is "horosho", that means "good". So, we keep this brend.. The federal law is established. I implement it here. I adopt it for Norga. During 3 years. Then we'll see.

CH: But you think, how to provide the prosperity of your republic, your country..

TH: No. This is not my job. Prosperity is result of workers, engineers, farmers, librarians, doctors.. I am employed to keep here the Federal Law and the National Law. To keep the Constitution at this specific farm, at these specific conditions. I do not know how to explain this..

CH: But you handle some national industries.. According to your Program.

SH: Yes. I do this to feel the needs of the population. As competence for the private industry. The national industry is more sensor, than competition. If the private businesswomen or businessmen make any cartel, plot, some monopoly, then, the anti-monopoly law will be applied to them. But even earlier, my national factories become competitive. So, the fraud will be revealed and the conflict will be stopped at very beginning..

CH: Do you mean, that the national factories are not competitive?

TH: Yes. The private companies are more efficient than any kind of so-called "socialism". I mean, national and federal industry.. If the federal or even national factories become competitive with the private ones – this is warning signal, this means, that the administration – police, court, tax inspectors – do something wrong. I mean, suppress the business, instead of to promote it.

CH: But how do you keep them the non-competitive factories?

TH: The national factories do not pay national taxes. Only contribution to the Federal Bidget – as it is written in my Program. The federal factories do not pay even this.. This is imposed in Any program of Any coordinator of Any farm of Tartaria.

CH: The structure of industry in various farms are so different.. For example, at Komi, the most of industry is nationalised.. The private factories are suppressed..

TH: Not so suppressed. The taxes are a little bit higher, than in other farms, and the oligarchs move their business to other farms. Then, the Komi coordinators see, that they approach the communism: brain drain, reduction of population, rice of crime and other attributes of communism. The administration see, what is happening, and they have to reduce the taxes.. Free market of goods and labor is basic of Tartaria. There is no principal difference between Norga and Komi. Only the quantitative. Part of the national industry in total product of the farm. It cannot be very different, but if it is too different, it raise the conflict.

CH: Again, you mention the conflicts.. Which conflicts do you consider as most important, most dangerous?

TH: Business and people. The problem is, that it is economically–interesting to sell everything that we have, leaving the population of Tartaria with nothing, even worse, with debuts.. My mother, while she was yang, even before the Bigpuf, had to pay such international debuts.. She told me, it was really heavy job. They had to work 15, or even 20 hours daily. As all other yang women, recruited to MVD; it was compulsory. And even such a heavy job could not save the country from the Bigpuf..

CH: But that is history, how about now?

TH: Now the main problem is the same. For example, the high treasure had been found in the shelters of the former military crimes – those maldits who led the country to the Bigpuf. Their treasure had been expropriated. Just because they did not register it and did not pay taxes for it.

CH: The military crimes were punished for tax fraud? Not for the Bigpuf?

TH: Yes, you understand well. The military crimes were committed before creation of Tartaria. So, they cannot be judged by the laws of Tartaria.

CH: But they can be judged by the International Court?

TH: Yes, of course. Our archives, I mean, that had survived the Bigpuf, and that had been collected after that, are open. Pick there any material, and prepare the application to the International Court – and the Feredal Court of Tartaria will consider, and, perhaps, the Tartarian crimes will be transferred to Hague for interrogation and all other legal procedures, including the punishment, execution, if necessary. If they had committed some crime since creation of Tartaria, they can be deprived the Tartarian citizenship and extradited.

CH: But this does not happen so often?

TH: This is your job, to bring the information to your readers, to your administration, to your court. And to convince our court.. You asked me about conflicts of interests. I tried to answer, but you interrupted me. Are you still interested? CH: Sorry. Yes, please.

TH: I suggest an example. Recently, a lot of treasures is been found in shelters of the former military crimes. Perhaps, it had been accumulated in enormous, absurd amounts since the beginning of century 21. Then it had been hidden in the shelters. Then we found it. The market value of that treasure greatly exceeds the budget of Tartaria. We could sell it; then, during one or two generations, population of Norga would have no need to produce anything. We could buy everything ready to use.

CH: Had you discuss such an option at referendum? I know, you, Tartarians, like referendums..

TH: No! Of course, not! such an "option" would mean violation of constitution. That would make us completely dependent on the import of everything. In particular, we would have no base for national weapon. This would mean to loss our suverenitet.. Either the court would prescribe intervention of the Federal Military forces, or Norga would be just expulsed from Tartaria.. There was such a precedent, at very beginning of Tartaria. The coordinator Gargan Popov had declared, "we have money, all the rest we can buy". It would not be a big deal, but his decision had been supported by population of Komi.. Sometimes this happens at the direct democracy. Vox populi, box Dei, and the horrible things happen..

CH: And what was the result?

TH: Komi had been exspulsed from Tartaria. Within few years, Komi spent their treasure for religious rituals and were close to return to civil war. Impeachment of coordinator Popov. Hew coordinator, I do not remember his name, declared, that Komi should join back Tartaria. It was not so easy, because the Tartaria cannot accept a farm with civil war in it. It was not at scale of the Bigpuf, but still.. First, they had to follow Constitution. Then they were accepted back. Now Komi is again part of Tartaria. I had to remind that case, when we had discussed the treasure of the past–century shelters at the economic forum.



CH: What did you found? What kind of treasure?

TH: As usually: gold, silver, platinum, cobalt, nickel, titanium, тungsten, zirconium, Berillium, Lithium.. Jewerly.. Natural crystals.. And, of course, tons of cash in European and American currencies.. A little bit devaluated since the time of collection, but still very important. It helped to keep our fans from inflation. Without MVD.

CH: What did you do with that treasure?

TH: It had been nationalised. Confiscated. Plundered. Some part is left with the people who found it. We use them for electronics. And for other industry. That treasure had been accumulated during a century. It would be stupid to spend it in few years. It was strong boost for our industry. And also for the decontamination.. Platinum, tungsten and zirconium are used in samorats for separation of isotopes. Several administrators, who tried to sell it out, and, perhaps, to hide in of shores, had been executed. Sorry.

CH: Do you plan to recover the nuclear industry?

TH: It is not my job, to recover any industry. It is job of technologists, engineers, businesswomen and businessmen. I only provide them condition for the efficient work.

CH: You, coordinator, do not handle the strategic policy of your republic?

TH: Of course, no! There are some scientific councils, economists.. I follow their advices, I handle few national projects.. Well, we have the military department. Strategic, as you say. It has relatively moderate budget, compared to the total about of goods produced in Norga. I could not demand much; would I specify more tax in my Program, I would not be elected. Would I try to regulate anything outside this budget, id est, to interfere economics, - uuu.. It sould be qualified as "verticAl vlAsti". Kind of usurpation. Our penal code has special article for this. Impeachment, suspension of duties, arrest, court, confiscation of property, etcetera.

CH: But I think, you try to do something for your republic..

TH: No. I did a lot, preparing the balanced Program. Before the Election. Now my job is just to keep it. To show, that it is balanced. Say, to come to the end of my administration with non–negative balance. Over–vice, I loss my profit in this.

CH: Your statement may sound a little bit cynic..

TH: Yes. I am cynic. At the beginning, you had revealed that I am son of a bitch. What other philosophy could you expect from me?

CH: Some attempts to move your farm to civilisation, To move your country to civilisation..

TH: Sorry. I am employed by the people. By our nationals. I won the auction of projects. So, I just follow it, no way for that you call "civilisation". I follow the contract I made with Norga.

CH: One says, the Tartarian philosophy is pretty different from that to the Western civilisation..

TH: Yes! Of course. Our people survived during centuries of terror, slavery, cannibalism, wars, feudalism, and in fin, the Bigpuf.. The best representatives of our nation had been exterminated. Our Constitution and respect to the laws is the only our hope. With our laws, we sometimes look as civilised people. We did this within some tens of years. In Europe, the same process took centuries. We cannot do things in your way.. Sorry..

CH: Thank you, mister Horoshilina, for the interesting explanation of your position.

TH: Thank you, mister Hitchcock, for your interest..

Keywords
Tartaria, Tartaria03, Utopia

Настя Хорошилина, Норга, Тартария, Утопия,