Consultant error

- Hello, Mr.Skripal..

- Ah..! Hello, Mr. Consul.

- Could you consult me?

- Of course, mister consul! What is your question?

- Should we let in a visitor from Russia, while we know close to nothing about him?

- How nothing? Is his name known?

- The name and the surname are known. But he has neither father nor mother. He did not study in any school nor institute. He does not live anywhere and does not work anywhere. He does not have a car, not even a phone. He never published a book nor any article under his name. And his friend too, of similar kind..

- Yes, it's a hard case. Do they bring a lot of vodka?

- They carry no vodka at all.

- It's suspicious. Maybe they're girls?

- They have beards. And a mustache.

- Well, it's possible to make almost natural hair on a face during a day.. Do they know each other?

- Yes. They call each other "darling". They bring two bottles of perfume "Premier Jour".

- Maybe gays ... Strange. From Russia to Europe, perfume..

- There is no such perfume in Europe. At these bottles, the dispensers are longer than usual.

- Can they explain the purpose of the visit?

- They say, to visit some "Luberetsky church", I have no idea, what does it refer to. They look very nervous.

- Where are these "nerve agents" from?

- Shihany, near Barnaul.

- I doubt, if Shihany is near Barnaul.. Do they have any entry permit?

- Oh sure. Schengen.

- Who did them the Schengen?

- Consul of the European Kingdom of Labardan.

- Is there exist such a country? Is it a Schengen country???

- The visa says "European Kingdom Labardan"; hence, it should exist.

- How long do they plan to stay at the UK?

- 4 days.

- Well, if only for 4 days, then you may let them pass.

- Thank you, Mr. Skripal, for your advice!