Advices for wives
Advices for wives is collection of tools that a married woman can use agains her husband in order to convert the happy rich and healthy man to an ill poor miserable bastard, copypasted from samizdat [1].
Contents
Copypast
Instruction
The advices for wives below are partially copypasted from from the historical book by Ruth Smythers
http://depts.washington.edu/psy210/1894.html INSTRUCTION AND ADVICE FOR THE YOUNG BRIDE. reprint from The Madison Institute Newsletter, Fall Issue, 1894. INSTRUCTION AND ADVICE FOR THE YOUNG BRIDE on the Conduct and Procedure of the Intimate and Personal Relationships of the Marriage State for the Greater Spiritual Sanctity of this Blessed Sacrament and the Glory of God by Ruth Smythers beloved wife of The Reverend L.D. Smythers Pastor of the Arcadian Methodist church of the Eastern Regional Conference published in the year of our Lord 1894 Spiritual Guidance Press New York City copyright 1894 The Madison Institute.
The Russian version is available at http://www.looo.ch/2010-11/364-bridehell Рут Смиттерс. Инструкция и совет для молодой невесты (1894)
It is considered as a good style, when a married woman does not completely exclude her husband from the set of her sexual partners.
Also, some women think that they should feed their husbands.
Also, some women like to optimize the family income.
In this article, the scientific concept is suggested describing all the 3 sides of the woman's activity mentioned.
Optimization of sex
To the sensitive young woman who has had the benefits of proper upbringing, the wedding day is, ironically, both the happiest and most terrifying day of her life. On the positive side, there is the wedding itself, in which the bride is the central attraction in a beautiful and inspiring ceremony, symbolizing her triumph in securing a male to provide for all her needs for the rest of her life. On the negative side, there is the wedding night, during which the bride must pay the piper, so to speak, by facing for the first time the terrible experience of sex.
At this point, dear reader, let me concede one shocking truth. Some young women actually anticipate the wedding night ordeal with curiosity and pleasure! Beware such an attitude! A selfish and sensual husband can easily take advantage of such a bride. One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: GIVE LITTLE, GIVE SELDOM, AND ABOVE ALL, GIVE GRUDGINGLY. Otherwise what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of sexual lust.
On the other hand, the bride's terror need not be extreme. While sex it at best revolting and at worse rather painful, it has to be endured, and has been by women since the beginning of time, and is compensated for by the monogamous home and by the children produced through it. It is useless, in most cases, for the bride to prevail upon the groom to forego the sexual initiation. While the ideal husband would be one who would approach his bride only at her request and only for the purpose of begetting offspring, such nobility and unselfishness cannot be expected from the average man.
Most men, if not denied, would demand sex almost every day. The wise bride will permit a maximum of two brief sexual experiences weekly during the first months of marriage. As time goes by she should make every effort to reduce this frequency.
Feigned illness, sleepiness, and headaches are among the wife's best friends in this matter. Arguments, nagging, scolding, and bickering also prove very effective, if used in the late evening about an hour before the husband would normally commence his seduction.
Clever wives are ever on the alert for new and better methods of denying and discouraging the amorous overtures of the husband. A good wife should expect to have reduced sexual contacts to once a week by the end of the first year of marriage and to once a month by the end of the fifth year of marriage.
By their tenth anniversary many wives have managed to complete their child bearing and have achieved the ultimate goal of terminating all sexual contacts with the husband. By this time she can depend upon his love for the children and social pressures to hold the husband in the home. Just as she should be ever alert to keep the quantity of sex as low as possible, the wise bride will pay equal attention to limiting the kind and degree of sexual contacts. Most men are by nature rather perverted, and if given half a chance, would engage in quite a variety of the most revolting practices. These practices include among others performing the normal act in abnormal positions; mouthing the female body; and offering their own vile bodies to be mouthed in turn.
Nudity, talking about sex, reading stories about sex, viewing photographs and drawings depicting or suggesting sex are the obnoxious habits the male is likely to acquire if permitted.
A wise bride will make it the goal never to allow her husband to see her unclothed body, and never allow him to display his unclothed body to her. Sex, when it cannot be prevented, should be practiced only in total darkness. Many women have found it useful to have thick cotton nightgowns for themselves and pajamas for their husbands. These should be donned in separate rooms. They need not be removed durning the sex act. Thus, a minimum of flesh is exposed.
Once the bride has donned her gown and turned off all the lights, she should lie quietly upon the bed and await her groom. When he comes groping into the room she should make no sound to guide him in her direction, lest he take this as a sign of encouragement. She should let him grope in the dark. There is always the hope that he will stumble and incur some slight injury which she can use as an excuse to deny him sexual access.
When he finds her, the wife should lie as still as possible. Bodily motion on her part could be interpreted as sexual excitement by the optimistic husband.
If he attempts to kiss her on the lips she should turn her head slightly so that the kiss falls harmlessly on her cheek instead. If he attempts to kiss her hand, she should make a fist. If he lifts her gown and attempts to kiss her anyplace else she should quickly pull the gown back in place, spring from the bed, and announce that nature calls her to the toilet. This will generally dampen his desire to kiss in the forbidden territory.
If the husband attempts to seduce her with lascivious talk, the wise wife will suddenly remember some trivial non-sexual question to ask him. Once he answers she should keep the conversation going, no matter how frivolous it may seem at the time.
Eventually, the husband will learn that if he insists on having sexual contact, he must get on with it without amorous embellishment. The wise wife will allow him to pull the gown up no farther than the waist, and only permit him to open the front of his pajamas to thus make connection.
She will be absolutely silent or babble about her housework while his huffing and puffing away. Above all, she will lie perfectly still and never under any circumstances grunt or groan while the act is in progress. As soon as the husband has completed the act, the wise wife will start nagging him about various minor tasks she wishes him to perform on the morrow. Many men obtain a major portion of their sexual satisfaction from the peaceful exhaustion immediately after the act is over. Thus the wife must insure that there is no peace in this period for him to enjoy. Otherwise, he might be encouraged to soon try for more.
One heartening factor for which the wife can be grateful is the fact that the husband's home, school, church, and social environment have been working together all through his life to instill in him a deep sense of guilt in regards to his sexual feelings, so that he comes to the marriage couch apologetically and filled with shame, already half cowed and subdued. The wise wife seizes upon this advantage and relentlessly pursues her goal first to limit, later to annihilate completely her husband's desire for sexual expression.
Optimization of food
The success of the realization of the First part of the concept above converts the husband of the beloved wife into a sexless animal without any wishes, nor needs, nor emotions; except, perhaps, the wish to drink and to eat and to pee and to poop. The wise wife should not allow her husband to do the things mentiond many times per a day.
Some women cook the plenty of tasty food, and their husbands become too thick; they have problems to reach the keyboard that affect their ability to work. Therefore, the food and beverage also should be optimized.
To the sensitive young woman who has had the benefits of proper upbringing, the beginning of the dating is, ironically, both the happiest and most terrifying day of her life. On the positive side, there is the cooking itself, in which the woman is the central attraction due the food she prepares. On the negative side, there is need to wash the dishes and to recover her drank husband, as the tasty food implies some alcoholic beverage, and most of husband cannot stop in time eating and drinking.
At this point, dear reader, let me concede one shocking truth. Some young women actually anticipate both, the cooking and the eating with curiosity and pleasure! Beware such an attitude! A selfish and sensual husband can easily take advantage of such a wife. One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: GIVE LITTLE, GIVE SELDOM, AND ABOVE ALL, GIVE GRUDGINGLY. Otherwise what could have been a good husband becomes a fat pig. That could be great advantage in a barbarian tribe, where wives cook and eats their husbands as soon as they reach some critical mass; but this is not appropriate in civilized countries.
On the other hand, the bride's terror need not be extreme. While food it at best revolting and at worse rather painful, it has to be endured, and has been by women since the beginning of time, and is compensated by the advantage of eating at home.
It is useless, in most cases, for the bride to prevail upon the groom to forego the hastronomic initiation. While the ideal husband would be one who would approach his wife with meal claims only at her request and only for the purpose of escaping from the starvation death, such nobility and unselfishness cannot be expected from the average man.
Most men, if not denied, would demand food few times per a day. The wise wife will permit a maximum of two brief meals daily during the first months of marriage. As time goes by she should make every effort to reduce this frequency.
Feigned illness, sleepiness, and headaches are among the wife's best friends in this matter. Arguments, nagging, scolding, and bickering also prove very effective, if used in the late evening about an hour before the husband would normally commence his seduction.
Clever wives are ever on the alert for new and better methods of denying and discouraging the amorous overtures of the husband. A good wife should expect to have reduced her cooking to once a day by the end of the first year of marriage and to once a week by the end of the fifth year of marriage.
As we see, it is difficult to avoid feeding husband, but the wife should make the food she cooks the less attractive possible. There are several ways to do it.
Cooking vegetables, consider to make the consistence, color, flavor and taste similar to those of poop. This will help the husband to reject the food. Cooking meat, undercook the fatty pieces of meat and overcook, burn the rest. Cooking mushrooms and sea-food, boil them well until any taste disappears.
Ideally, the careful treatment of husband causes him the permanent disfunction of the stomach; after few years of marriage, he will be able to eat only a diabetic food, if at all.
Optimization of budget
The success with first two parts of the concept (denying sex and food) could push the husband to search for the service from the professionals, professional cooks and professional sex-workers. This can be avoided with optimization of budget: husband should have enough money for the transport and some cloth, but not - for restaurants and nightclubs.
The good helper of a wife a big home. The wise wife collects and keeps all the gifts she got. Gradually, the home is converted to the museum of absolutely useless things. Even if some things are still useful, they cannot be found in the heaps of paintings, statuettes, old cloths, shoes, etc.. This stimulates the buying new things, as well as renting (or buying) of a new, bigger and more expensive home, optimizing the budget to reduce abilities of the husband to follow the seductions mentioned above.
The efficient optimisation of budget helps to optimise both, sex and food, mentioned above: the sex becomes almost undoable, and the food – almost uneatable, as it is shown in figure at right.
Conclusion
Well prepared woman, being asked:"If you were a wife of a millionaire, what should you do?", may answer: I should make him poor, ill and divorced.
Local References
http://depts.washington.edu/psy210/1894.html INSTRUCTION AND ADVICE FOR THE YOUNG BRIDE. reprint from The Madison Institute Newsletter, Fall Issue, 1894.
http://samlib.ru/k/kuznecow_d_j/nihilisttaboo.shtml Nihilist: Taboos (2010-2012)
http://samlib.ru/k/kuznecow_d_j/sexrobot.shtml Sex with robot (1996-2010)
http://samlib.ru/k/kuznecow_d_j/absolutemoral.shtml About the absolute moral (2003)
http://samlib.ru/k/kuznecow_d_j/globalwae.shtml Atlantide desert (2010-2011)
http://samlib.ru/k/kuznecow_d_j/maple.shtml Maple and tea (2009-2011)
http://samlib.ru/k/kuznecow_d_j/texasine.shtml Independence of Texas (2010-2011)
Global references
- ↑ http://samlib.ru/k/kuznecow_d_j/sexwife.shtml Advices for wives
- ↑ http://irena-mishina.livejournal.com/118707.html Ирина Мишина (Irena Mishina). Почему блогеры толстеют. 2013-01-05 11:23:00,
- ↑ https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=596862980448257 Sofia Nepomnyaschaya. 2015.03.08.
http://depts.washington.edu/psy210/1894.html INSTRUCTION AND ADVICE FOR THE YOUNG BRIDE. reprint from The Madison Institute Newsletter, Fall Issue, 1894. INSTRUCTION AND ADVICE FOR THE YOUNG BRIDE on the Conduct and Procedure of the Intimate and Personal Relationships of the Marriage State for the Greater Spiritual Sanctity of this Blessed Sacrament and the Glory of God by Ruth Smythers beloved wife of The Reverend L.D. Smythers Pastor of the Arcadian Methodist church of the Eastern Regional Conference published in the year of our Lord 1894 Spiritual Guidance Press New York City copyright 1894 The Madison Institute.
http://www.looo.ch/2010-11/364-bridehell Рут Смиттерс. Инструкция и совет для молодой невесты (1894)
