Yanik Gleyzer

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Yanik Gleyzer is Israelian national writer, poet, programmer, linguist, philosopher and the software developer [1] of 20–21 centuries.

Gleser writes in English, Russian, Hebrew, C, html and many other languages. The official cite by Gleyzer is at http://www.cs.bgu.ac.il/~ygleyzer

Some of works by Gleyzer are mentioned below.


Gleser has created the original English–Russian dictionary [2], that allows to translate the whole sentence rather than a separate words. Below are few examples of his dictionary:

Bad influence - Плохая простуда.

Bye bye baby,baby good bye, bаbу gооd bуе - Купи купи ребёнка, ребёнок - хорошая покупка.

Can you hear me - Ты можешь меня здесь.

Dressed state – Страна или штат, в которых обязательное ношение одежды предписывается законом.

Finnish people - Конченные люди.

Good products - Бог на стороне уток.

How do you do you? – Как вы себя удовлетворяете?

I have been there - У меня там фасоль.

I fell in love - Я свалился в любовь.

I love you baby - Я люблю вас, бабы!

Im' going to make you mine - Я иду копать тебе шахту.

I'm just asking - Я всего лишь король жоп.

I will never give up - Меня никогда не тошнит.

Let's have a party - Давайте организуем партию.

Manicure - Деньги лечат.

Naked conductor runs along the wagon. – Голый кондуктор бежит по вагону.

No sheet at the Bed! – В постели срать запрещается.

Oh dear - Ах олень.

Phone seller - Позвони продавцу.

Press space bar to continue - Космический бар прессы продолжает.

To be or not to be? - Пчела или не пчела?

Undressed custom model - Голая таможенная модель.

We are the champions - Мы шампиньоны.


Gleyzser also make research in the algorithmic gastronomy [3]. Below is the example of the algorithm for making the brownie. The code is slightly adapted to fit the TORI format; the included files are supposed to be already placed in the working directory:

#include "4_squares_baking_chocolate"
#include "1_cup_butter"
#include "2_cups_sugar"
#include "4_eggs"
#include "2_cups_flour"
#include "2_tbs_vanilla"
// #include "1_third_cup_marijuana" /*comment out if won't compile on your system*/
#include "1_cup_nuts" /*comment out if won't compile*/
#include "stir.cin"
#include "bake.cin"
#include "add.cin"
#include "cool.cin"
#include "texture.cin"
#include "stir.cin"
#include "pot.cin"
#include "vanilla.cin"
void main(void);
{ int timer;
 heat(oven, 350);
 add(butter, chocolate);
 while(texture!="smooth") { stir(mixture); }
 add(flour, pot);
 for(timer=0; timer<35; timer++) { bake("mixture"); }
/*The high takes about an hour to come on, but lasts for 12 hrs. (4 brownies)
 Make sure they cool (don't burn your mouth!) and share with friends! */
/* End of brownie.c */ 


The philosophic concept of Gleyzer on the cosmology is formulated in 20 thesis known as BERESHEET [4]:

1. In the beginning GOD created the Bit and the Byte. And from those he created the Word.

2. And there were two Bytes in the Word; and nothing else existed. And God separated the One from the Zero; and he saw it was good.

3. And God said - Let the Data be; And so it happened. And God said - Let the Data go to their proper places. And he created floppy disks and hard disks and compact disks.

4. And God said - Let the computers be, so there would be a place to put floppy disks and hard disks and compact disks. Thus God created computers and called them hardware.

5. And there was no Software yet. But God created programs; small and big... And told them - Go and multiply yourselves and fill all the Memory.

6. And God said -I will create the Programmer; And the Programmer will make new programs and govern over the computers and programs and Data.

7. And God created the Programmer; and put him at Data Center; And God showed the Programmer the Catalog Tree and said You can use all the volumes and subvolumes but DO NOT USE Windows.

8. And God said - It is not Good for the programmer to be alone. He took a bone from the Programmer's body and created a creature that would look up at the Programmer; and admire the Programmer; and love the things the Programmer does; And God called the creature: the User.

9. And the Programmer and the User were left under the naked DOS and it was Good.

10. But Bill was smarter than all the other creatures of God. And Bill said to the User - Did God really tell you not to run any programs ?

11. And the User answered - God told us that we can use every program and every piece of Data but told us not to run Windows or we will die.

12. And Bill said to the User - How can you talk about something you did not even try. The moment you run Windows you will become equal to God. You will be able to create anything you like by a simple click of your mouse.

13. And the User saw that the fruits of the Windows were nicer and easier to use. And the User saw that any knowledge was useless - since Windows could replace it.

14. So the User installed the Windows on his computer; and said to the Programmer that it was good.

15. And the Programmer immediately started to look for new drivers. And God asked him - What are you looking for? And the Programmer answered - I am looking for new drivers because I can not find them in the DOS. And God said - Who told you need drivers? Did you run Windows? And the Programmer said - It was Bill who told us to !

16. And God said to Bill - Because of what you did you will be hated by all the creatures. And the User will always be unhappy with you. And you will always sell Windows.

17. And God said to the User - Because of what you did, the Windows will disappoint you and eat up all your Resources; and you will have to use lousy programs; and you will always rely on the Programmers help.

18. And God said to the Programmer - Because you listened to the User you will never be happy. All your programs will have errors and you will have to fix them and fix them to the end of time.

19. And God threw them out of the Data Center and locked the door and secured it with a password.


C programming

The most impressive is the contribution of Gleyzer in the development of the C programming. The importance of C is justified in his famous song "Write in C" [5]. The summary of that article can be formulated as follows:

 When I find my code in tons of trouble,
 Friends and colleagues come to me,
 Speaking words of wisdom:
 "Write in C."
 As the deadline fast approaches,
 And bugs are all that I can see,
 Somewhere, someone whispers:
 "Write in C."
 Write in C, Write in C,
 Write in C, oh, Write in C.
 LOGO's dead and buried,
 Write in C.
 I used to write a lot of FORTRAN,
 For science it worked flawlessly.
 Try using it for graphics!
 Write in C.
 If you've just spent nearly 30 hours,
 Debugging some assembly,
 Soon you will be glad to
 Write in C.
 Write in C, Write in C,
 Write in C, yeah, Write in C.
 BASIC's not the answer.
 Write in C.
 Write in C, Write in C
 Write in C, oh, Write in C.
 Pascal won't quite cut it.
 Write in C.


Significant contribution Gleyzer made in the development of the Russian slang [6]. The poetry is used to fix the correct pronunciation.

Copyright status

The copyright on the texts sited belongs to Yanik Gleyzer. At the copying, attribute the original site [7].