KandidKun
KandidKun is story from utopia Tartaria, one of its spoilers.
It is supposed, that, during century 21, these spoilers will be combined to a sequential narration.
Lima
- Time to sleep! - Mama put Lima to the bed.
- How about a fairy tale? - Lima asked.
- Here you are, - Mama said, switching the top screen, and continued:
- I loaded the story about time, when the people did not know, what is Science. They believed various doubtful claims, and believed, the claims are science. Here is story about warming.. It had happened a century ago..
- Is it warm story?
- Yes, it is warm, but a little bit sad.. There was a small girl, she was tricked by knaves. She was not popular among boys, and she wanted to be famous, by any price..
Mama touched the sensor, and movie with a furious girl appeared on the screen. Mama continued:
- Her name was Grita. She was promised to be watched by millions of boys, if she help with ”global warming”. The idea was to get some money from the budget, assigned for science. The knaves, who had invented that trick, did not plan to make any science. But they have strong support from athe usurper, who needed to distract attention of the people from the horrible crimes he had committed to keep power.. Well, to transfer the superior power to himself. Now this is called Mafia, fascism, dictatorship..
- He had organized the Bigpuf?
- In some sense, yes, but it was before the Bigpuf.. The claims of the knaves was, that the Human civilization produces too much heat and too much carbon dioxide..
- The carbon dioxide is necessary for plants.. We put CO2 to the greenhouse..
- The barbarian people of century 21 did not know that.. So, they begun to fight against the civilization. In order to justify their claims, the fraudsters had presented pictures, that showed, that the mean temperature at the planet rises, and soon, all the Humanity will be boiled or even grilled..
Mama showed the graphic of temperature rising up.
- Grita measured temperature since birthday of Jesus Nazaretski?
- No, Lima. Grita was not so old. And there were no thermometers at the time of Jesus. The blue scratches are estimates, from some models, or just invention of the alarmists..
- Alarmist es el que grita mucho? Grita como Grita en el video?
- Si, cariña. То есть Yes, my darling.
- Y la curva roja?
- The red curve is supposed to be a result of measurements; but nobody tested it: the authors provided no table, used to plot the curve, nor sources of information. That time, it was popular to secret the sources of information. The authors did not want their results to be refuted.
- And what happened to the Earth since year 2000, did it become hot?
- Not at all, Lima. All the play of temperature is of order or one degree of Celsius. Without precise measurements, one could not be able even to detect the rise of the mean temperature. Since the beginning, it was just a trick, to milk the state budget.. The curve continued to jump up and down by fractions of a degree, as it had done since the time of Jesus.
- But the people believed Grita?
- Not all.. The officials, who distributed the money, pretended, that they believe. The bribing was popular that time; they got huge benefits..
- From just one degree of variation of the temperature??
- Yes, Lima.. That time, the budget could be stolen with any pretext, from the perpetual motion machine to cleaning of the optical axes with ethanol..
- Optical axes cannot be cleaned with ethanol. Even I know this!
- It was called money laundering. The top offi got a lot of ethanol to drink..
- They used it to make taburetovka?
- That time, taburetovka was not yet invented. They drunk ethanol from the neck of bottle..
Mama changed the side.
- It is not tasty..
- They had found some pleasure in it..
- Our praancestors were strange people..
- This is normal for barbarians. We cannot understand some of their customs..
- Were all barbarian that time?
- Not all, Lima. There was one smart boy, Kandid-kun. First, he believed Grita-chan, and afraid to get boiled together with other people.. He searched for the primary data, to help Grita to convince the skeptics, who did not believe that the danger is real.
- To check the red curve?
- Yes. He found data on temperature..
Mama changed the slide, showing, what kind of data did Kandid found.
- Why temperature in Fahrenheits?
- In century 21, many different systems of units were used.
- Ah, I know: arshin, foot, versta..
- Yes. The rotational symmetry of space-time had not yet been invented. One measured length in miles, width in meters, and altitude in foots. They measured temperature of air in Fahrenheit scale while in the USA; the same air, being blown to other country with wind, got new temperature by the Celsius scale.
- In this pic, the red curve is yellow?
- Yes. First, Kandid plotted that he got, to see, that the data are interpreted correctly. - Mama changed the side.
- Kandid confirmed the cry by Grita?
{201901, "-", 201912, "52.68°F", 92, "0.66°F"}
inta=Table[{(Extract[Extract[inp, L-n+1],1]-1)/100,
10FromDigits[Extract[Characters[Extract[Extract[inp,L+1-n],4]],1]]+
FromDigits[Extract[Characters[Extract[Extract[inp,L+1-n],4]],2]]+
.1FromDigits[Extract[Characters[Extract[Extract[inp,L+1-n],4]],4]]+
.01FromDigits[Extract[Characters[Extract[Extract[inp,L+1-n],4]],5]]}
,{n,1,L}]
- Not really so. For the independent confirmation, Kandid chosen data since year 1990. Namely that year the first alarm of warming had been widely discussed. The strings he input from the site, were horrible. Look, how he had extracted the data:
- Command Extract is repeated many times.. The same can be done easier.
- Kandid was small boy. That time, he was not smart in programming..
- And what did Kandid do with the data?
- He suggested the linear fit, - Mama touched the sensor, and the chaotic ridge at the screen happened to be stroke-out by the red line, extrapolating the data.
- Is the growth significant?
- He drew also the quadratic fit, - Mama added the blue curve.
- So, no disaster..
- Uhu. The growth is very slow, if at al.. Kandid shown the curves to his Teacher. She scared: “Because of your graphics, the minister may insert me a long pen, and we all have serious problems!”..
- Insert me a long pen, does it mean to type a document of accusation?
- Yes. This expression appeared before computers; one used pens to write documents.. Kandid was naive. He had interpreted this expression literally. Kandid drew, how this could look like. The Teacher upset; she shown both pictures, the extrapolations and the “long pen”, to the Director. He got furious and expelled Kandid from the School.. The huge budget had been assigned for the “warming”; the doubts were unwanted.
- But Kandid could learn at home..
Yes. Kandid left. He sent his result to Grita. The reply was terror. The KGBists exploded his school: The secretutes lost the agent report, that Kandid is out.. Many children died.. Those, who did not know about the “warming”; and even those, who believed in it..
- It is very sad story..
- Yes. This repeats again and again: Dictator tries to kill one boy, and kills many, but not him. It was so with Moses; it was so with Jesus..
- And what happened when?
- The curve of temperature continued to cross both extrapolations by Kandid, again and again. So, Kandid guessed well.. My dear, I stop here.. You have to sleep. I’ll continue next time.
- Mom, only one word.. Did Kandid survived Bigpuf?
- Yes. He fled to America.. There, the fight against Grita was more civilized.. Sleep.. Спокойной ночи..
Warning
Tale above (as well as other parts of the utopia) should be considered as fantasy, fiction.
No physical execution of opponents is assumed.
If some critics think, that in century 22, events of century 21 will be interpreted in other way, please send your version to the Editor.
References
1988.06.23.
https://www.zinnedproject.org/news/tdih/james-hansen-testified-congress-climate-change/ June 23, 1988: James Hansen Testified to Congress About Climate Change Time Periods: Post-Civil Rights Era: 1975 - 2000 Themes: Climate Justice, Environment, Science.
1989.04.20. https://www.nature.com/articles/338642a0 A. E. Strong. Greater global warming revealed by satellite-derived sea-surface-temperature trends. Nature volume 338, pages642–645(1989). Abstract. INVESTIGATING the response of global climate to changes in external forcing is essential to our understanding of climate change. Here I present an analysis of satellite-derived sea surface temperatures for the period 1982–88. It can be seen from this analysis that the global ocean is undergoing a gradual but significant warming of ˜0.1 °C per year, whereas the trend obtained for the same period from conventional data sources (ships and buoys) is about half that magnitude1. Satellite global coverage, however, is far greater and, although we have no long time series of satellite data (as opposed to conventional data), it is possible to observe short-term trends, as shown here, that may not be discerned using the coarser-resolution conventional data.
1990.03. http://faculty.fgcu.edu/twimberley/EnviroPol/EnviroPhilo/Cool.pdf Richard S. Lindzen. Some Coolness Concerning Global Warming. Bulletin American Meteorological Society, Vol. 71 No. 3, March 1990.// 1. Introduction// The assessment of the proper response to the possible danger of global warming depends critically on the determination of how real the danger is. There are certainly other potential problems that could be far more devastating to life on this planet (e.g., an asteroid collision), but we regard those as too unlikely to worry about.// The existence of skepticism on this issue has only recently been publicly recognized. Whatever the truth may turn out to be, there is an unusual degree of extremism associated with this issue. While environmental scares are not unheard of, few have been accompanied by recommendations that skepticism be stifled (an editorial to this effect in the Boston Globe [17 December 1989] is but one of a series of examples). As an admitted skeptic on this issue, I would like to discuss some aspects of the "greenhouse hypothesis" that leave me unconvinced, and leave me concerned whether unanimity on such an issue is healthy for meteorology.
2004.09.06. https://www.gettyimages.co.jp/detail/ニュース写真/hole-is-seen-in-the-floor-of-a-library-inside-a-school-ニュース写真/51267187 BESLAN, RUSSIA - SEPTEMBER 6: A hole is seen in the floor of a library inside a school September 6, 2004 in Beslan, southern Russia. More than 350 people died after Chechen militant hostage-takers and Russian forces began a firefight in the school that ended violently for more than 1200 held captive inside the school for three days. Russian authorities believe that the militants hid weapons in the floor months before in preparation for the attack. (Photo by Scott Peterson/Getty Images)
2020.02.23. https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Common_Era_Temperature.svg Efbrazil. Global temperature reconstruction of the last two millennia and instrumental temperature , 2020. // English: Temperatures with respect to the 1850-1900 mean as per IPCC definition of pre-industrial temperatures over the last 2 millennia and observational estimates ranging from 1880 to 2018. All data is smoothed using a 5 year moving average. // The 2000 year record is computed in https://www.nature.com/articles/s41561-019-0400-0 using a wide set of proxies that have been vetted by the Pages2k Consortium [1]. They include tree ring data, data from corals and ice core data. A direct link to data is at https://figshare.com/articles/Reconstruction_ensemble_median_and_95_range/8143094 // The observational data set is pulled from NASA: https://climate.nasa.gov/vital-signs/global-temperature/ // NASA data is adjusted up by 0.188 degrees C since the IPCC says 2006 to 2015 is 0.87 degrees warmer than 1850 to 1900 and NASA averages 0.682 in that time frame. The 2000 year temperature is adjusted up by 0.287667, which is the NASA adjustment from above plus 0.099667 for the NASA average from 1961 to 1990 (the baseline for the 2000 year data set). Date 23 February 2020 Source Own work Author Efbrazil
2020.09.06. https://www.ncdc.noaa.gov/cag/national/time-series/110/tavg/12/12/1900-2020?base_prd=true&begbaseyear=1901&endbaseyear=2000 Climate at a Glance (2020) National Time Series Choose from the options below and click "Plot" to create a time series graph. Palmer Drought Severity Index (PDSI), Palmer Hydrological Drought Index (PHDI), and Palmer Modified Drought Index (PMDI) are not offered for multiple-month time scales. Display Base Period Start: End: Display Trend per Decade per Century Start: End: Smoothed Time Series Binomial Filter LOESS Filter Parameter: Time Scale: Month: Start Year: End Year:
Keywords
Bigpuf, Corruption, Fraud, Global warming, Kandid, Lima, Money laundering, Taburetovka, Tartaria, Terror, Usurpation, Utopia