Difference between revisions of "Lesson of quantum topology"
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| + | {{fig|Im_rutgers.jpg|90|-72|4|24|}} |
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http://budclub.ru/k/kuznecow_d_j/lessontopo.shtml |
http://budclub.ru/k/kuznecow_d_j/lessontopo.shtml |
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Урок квантовой топологии |
Урок квантовой топологии |
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</ref> |
</ref> |
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| + | apparently missed in the official edition of book «[[Нерушимый изнутри]]». |
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| + | |||
| + | The story can be qualified as «[[Байка]]», kind of [[folklore]]. |
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| + | |||
| + | Please, do not consider the story too seriously: |
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| + | |||
| + | The case and all the personages are a little but invented. |
||
| + | |||
| + | However, if one remembers a "lesson" similar to that is described below, |
||
| + | then, please, provide your version and bing the URL in order to cite your description here. |
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==Lesson of quantum topology== |
==Lesson of quantum topology== |
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| − | [[File:Im rutgers.jpg|120px|right]] |
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Characters:<br> |
Characters:<br> |
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'''Star''', a vigorous old man.<br> |
'''Star''', a vigorous old man.<br> |
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'''Guest''', arrogant young man.<br> |
'''Guest''', arrogant young man.<br> |
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| − | '''Participants''', |
+ | '''Participants''', very different from each other. |
| − | '''Guest''' (writes strange symbols on board): In such a way, we come to Theorem 5: In the asymptotic representation, the group of pre-rotation of the poly-Grassmann isomorphic to a proper subgroup of the Poincare group. .. COROLLARY 5: the zeroth term of the expansion has sense of the metrics. Its average value can be interpreted as curvature. |
+ | '''Guest''' (writes strange symbols on board): In such a way, we come to Theorem 5: In the asymptotic representation, the group of pre-rotation of the poly-Grassmann is isomorphic to a proper subgroup of the Poincare group. .. COROLLARY 5: the zeroth term of the expansion has sense of the metrics. Its average value can be interpreted as curvature. We see, in the classical limit, we get the conventional four-dimensional space-time. (Clears quadrant of the board to make room.) |
'''Star''' (interrupts): Stop !! Why did you erase? I did not have enough time to write ... What was it, the definition? I forbid you to erase! So I did not erase from my notebook .. |
'''Star''' (interrupts): Stop !! Why did you erase? I did not have enough time to write ... What was it, the definition? I forbid you to erase! So I did not erase from my notebook .. |
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| − | '''Guest''': Book you have endless, and board |
+ | '''Guest''': Book you have is endless, and the board is limited.. |
| − | '''Star''': Okay, but do not |
+ | '''Star''': Okay, but do not erase until you explain all. Where have you defined your poly-Grassmann? |
'''Guest''' (found on the board): Here. |
'''Guest''' (found on the board): Here. |
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| Line 24: | Line 34: | ||
'''Star''': You did not define it, you only gave the name … Do not go forward until you define all the objects that you already have been smuggled… |
'''Star''': You did not define it, you only gave the name … Do not go forward until you define all the objects that you already have been smuggled… |
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| − | '''Guest''' (writing on the blackboard the word "definition" and |
+ | '''Guest''' (writing on the blackboard the word "definition" and symbols). |
| − | '''Star''' (stares |
+ | '''Star''' (stares as a guest restores calculations, then turns to the audience): When a qualified physicist suddenly begin talking, you know, full nonsense, it usually means that he uses a formalism, which is not yet built-up.. . When Galileo and Newton were carrying blablabla about the infinitely small quantities, it was nonsense; mathematical analysis has not been developed and the derivative did not exist ... (Looks at the board, sees that Guest is still busy, and continues). |
| + | .. While there is no definition, it is not clear ... (to audience) And you can say that's right or not? |
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'''Partidipant''': It may be true ... |
'''Partidipant''': It may be true ... |
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| Line 34: | Line 45: | ||
I see that you are using some new formalism, but it is not yet constructed. Build it up, and then you can use it as you like … |
I see that you are using some new formalism, but it is not yet constructed. Build it up, and then you can use it as you like … |
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(to audience) I think it's hopeless … |
(to audience) I think it's hopeless … |
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| − | + | How to explain a physicist that all the objects should be defined?.. |
|
| − | We must recognize this non-existent formalism and build it. Physicists |
+ | We must recognize this non-existent formalism and build it up. The Physicists are so ignorant.. |
| − | They are badly educated |
+ | They are badly educated. They begin to use the formalism before it is built. And they use the idiotic notations.. |
'''Guest''' produces a gurgling sound. |
'''Guest''' produces a gurgling sound. |
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| − | '''Star''' (up to the board and pokes in the tangle of characters): Well, here |
+ | '''Star''' (up to the board and pokes in the tangle of characters): Well, here! look here!! That's what is this? .. |
Who can insert a new object into the equation, and only then begin to analyse, from what set is it? (Turns to the audience, contemptuously) Well, only Pffisicist! (Clap hands) Absolutely shameless people ... |
Who can insert a new object into the equation, and only then begin to analyse, from what set is it? (Turns to the audience, contemptuously) Well, only Pffisicist! (Clap hands) Absolutely shameless people ... |
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And then negative review is returned, and the result vaves between the author and reviewers, as a flower in a ice-hole.. |
And then negative review is returned, and the result vaves between the author and reviewers, as a flower in a ice-hole.. |
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| Line 61: | Line 72: | ||
- - - - - - |
- - - - - - |
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| − | Here is good moment to stop this scene and turn the action to the next episode, diving the '''Star''' no time to say, what did Dave keep in |
+ | Here is good moment to stop this scene and turn the action to the next episode, diving the '''Star''' no time to say, what did Dave keep in his cave <ref> |
| + | https://www.brodavelister.com/scribble/hermit1.htm |
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| + | There once was a hermit named Dave // |
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| + | Who kept a dead whore in his cave. // |
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| + | “I know it’s a sin,” // |
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| + | He said with a grin, // |
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| + | “But think of the money I save!” |
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| ⚫ | |||
| + | |||
| + | ==Warning== |
||
| + | |||
| + | The story above should not be interpreted as an accurate transcript of any wideorecord of any seminar. |
||
| + | |||
| + | The "Lesson" is loaded here as an illustration of terms «[[Science]]» and «[[mathematic]]». |
||
==References== |
==References== |
||
| + | {{ref}} |
||
| − | <references/> |
||
| + | |||
| + | {{fer}} |
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==Keywords== |
==Keywords== |
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| − | [[ |
+ | «[[Moscovia]]», |
| − | [[Science]] |
+ | «[[Science]]» |
| + | «[[Нерушимый изнутри]]“, |
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| − | [[Уроки]] |
+ | «[[Уроки]]», |
[[Category:English]] |
[[Category:English]] |
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[[Category:Humor]] |
[[Category:Humor]] |
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| − | [[Category: |
+ | [[Category:Moscovia]] |
[[Category:Science]] |
[[Category:Science]] |
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| + | [[Category:Translation]] |
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Revision as of 21:14, 24 January 2026
Lesson of quantum topology is English translation of the Russian short story «Урок квантовой топологии» [1] apparently missed in the official edition of book «Нерушимый изнутри».
The story can be qualified as «Байка», kind of folklore.
Please, do not consider the story too seriously:
The case and all the personages are a little but invented.
However, if one remembers a "lesson" similar to that is described below, then, please, provide your version and bing the URL in order to cite your description here.
Lesson of quantum topology
Characters:
Star, a vigorous old man.
Guest, arrogant young man.
Participants, very different from each other.
Guest (writes strange symbols on board): In such a way, we come to Theorem 5: In the asymptotic representation, the group of pre-rotation of the poly-Grassmann is isomorphic to a proper subgroup of the Poincare group. .. COROLLARY 5: the zeroth term of the expansion has sense of the metrics. Its average value can be interpreted as curvature. We see, in the classical limit, we get the conventional four-dimensional space-time. (Clears quadrant of the board to make room.)
Star (interrupts): Stop !! Why did you erase? I did not have enough time to write ... What was it, the definition? I forbid you to erase! So I did not erase from my notebook ..
Guest: Book you have is endless, and the board is limited..
Star: Okay, but do not erase until you explain all. Where have you defined your poly-Grassmann?
Guest (found on the board): Here.
Star: You did not define it, you only gave the name … Do not go forward until you define all the objects that you already have been smuggled…
Guest (writing on the blackboard the word "definition" and symbols).
Star (stares as a guest restores calculations, then turns to the audience): When a qualified physicist suddenly begin talking, you know, full nonsense, it usually means that he uses a formalism, which is not yet built-up.. . When Galileo and Newton were carrying blablabla about the infinitely small quantities, it was nonsense; mathematical analysis has not been developed and the derivative did not exist ... (Looks at the board, sees that Guest is still busy, and continues). .. While there is no definition, it is not clear ... (to audience) And you can say that's right or not?
Partidipant: It may be true ...
Star I do not say, that this is wrong; but where is the definition? (Looks at the board) What?? Look, he again introduced a new object! .. Stop! What a hooliganism, I asked to determine what is already written, but not to introduce new objects ... All the definitions, please. In one column ... I see that you are using some new formalism, but it is not yet constructed. Build it up, and then you can use it as you like … (to audience) I think it's hopeless … How to explain a physicist that all the objects should be defined?.. We must recognize this non-existent formalism and build it up. The Physicists are so ignorant.. They are badly educated. They begin to use the formalism before it is built. And they use the idiotic notations..
Guest produces a gurgling sound.
Star (up to the board and pokes in the tangle of characters): Well, here! look here!! That's what is this? .. Who can insert a new object into the equation, and only then begin to analyse, from what set is it? (Turns to the audience, contemptuously) Well, only Pffisicist! (Clap hands) Absolutely shameless people ... And then negative review is returned, and the result vaves between the author and reviewers, as a flower in a ice-hole.. And all this just because you did not give the definition!.. (Pointing to the formula) You may keep all these speculations for a popular magazine!.. Here, or you either give the definition, or you prove a theorem, or you building a construction. That's what you're doing now?
Guest: I want to … define the construction!
Star: Well, define define your construction.. How do you call it?
Guest: The set of polynomials of form (1) with the class of equivalence (7).
Star: What for do you define it the general case, if you need only the unitary group?
Guest: We'll see what for..
Star: There was one old monk called Dave ..
- - - - - -
Here is good moment to stop this scene and turn the action to the next episode, diving the Star no time to say, what did Dave keep in his cave [2]...
Warning
The story above should not be interpreted as an accurate transcript of any wideorecord of any seminar.
The "Lesson" is loaded here as an illustration of terms «Science» and «mathematic».
References
- ↑ http://budclub.ru/k/kuznecow_d_j/lessontopo.shtml Урок квантовой топологии
- ↑ https://www.brodavelister.com/scribble/hermit1.htm There once was a hermit named Dave // Who kept a dead whore in his cave. // “I know it’s a sin,” // He said with a grin, // “But think of the money I save!”