Gella at Pupkin

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Gella at Pupkin is part of utopia Tartaria.

Previous parts:

Gella interview: Gella Ivanov gives interview to the Clever Times. It happen to be too scandalous.

Gella Interview advances: the Paygirl also try to make a scandal material with Gella, but it also happened to be too scandalous, even for Paygirl. Vasili Pupkin falls in love with Po Lin. Gella Ivanov goes to Pupkun. She measures the distance between Vasili Pupkin and Po Lin with tape-meter; then Gella helps Po Lin to fix her balance.



At 18 hours with some minutes, Po Lin came to Pupkin home with the tape meter. Pupkin and Gella were already in the bed, kissing each other.

- Hi, kroska, - Po Lin said. - Here is the type meter. - She gave the tape meter to Gella and Pupkin. - Now I am ready. Vasili, how do you plan to use this?

- First, lie on your back. - Pupkin commanded. - Let as check how does it enter..
- it enters fine, - Gella said. Let us do it. I have plan.

Gella unwrapped the tape, and kept it along legs of Po Lin:
- Polina, open your hole. So you remember, how I tout you?
- I try, - Po Lin said..
- Imagine, that you go to do the exercise with an egg. Do you remember?.. ok.. Ready?.. Vasili, here you enter.

Gella helped Vasili to enter just at the center of the tape, and said:
- Vasili, do not hurry up. Let Po Lin do it.

Po Lin did well. With the marker, Gella drawn two lines across the tape, using Po Lin's vertical lips as rulers. She said:
- Done!.. Now you may do whatever you want; and I need to perform the processing of experimental data.

Gella sat at the table and scanned with her biper the marks at the tape. Then she pressed button "numbers", and the marks were converted to numbers. She denoted one of them with letter "A" and and another one with letter "B". She commented:
- I have two marks. I denote their coordinates with letters A and B.

- Gella, you are so smart on mathematic! - Po Lin said.

- Now I should remember the arithmetic, - Gella continued. - The length of the segment between the two marks is "A minus B".. Now I estimate the radius of Vasili's device.. Vasili, wait, please, 3 seconds in some intermediate position.. Aga, spasibo, got!.. I denote this number with letter L.. The radius R=L/(2 Pi).. Vasili, you may continue.. I approximate the surface of your dickhead as a sphere.. The projection to the plane, parallel to the main axis, is curve, that appears as a half circle... Its length is "Pi R".. So, I come to the final formula: The minimal distance between Po Lin and Vasili Pupkin is \( - ( A - B - L/2)/2 - R \). All done!
- How much is it? - Po Lin asked.
- Here you are! - Gella sent the formula to the big screen, that showed:

\( \displaystyle - \frac{A-B-L/2}{2}-\frac{L}{2\pi} \)

- А в сантиметрах-то сколько? - Pupkin asked.

- Ein moment, - Gella pressed bottom "evaluate", - in centimeters it is.. it is.. minus 13.8241 cm.

- Old braggart! - Po Lin laughed, - he told, minus 15 centimeters!

Gella continued with very serious and formal voice, imitating intonations of a chairlady at a scientific seminar:
- Taking into account the elasticity of objects, used in the experiment, the precision of the result can be estimated to be 2 inverse centimeters, it est, of order of 0.2/mm .. In such a way, we got two decimal figures.. Dear colleagues. I thank you for the opportunity to present here the result, obtained in our University. The direct measurements, performed by our team, followed by the mathematical processing of experimental data, lead to the following estimate: The minimal distance between Po Lin and Vasili Pupkin counts minus 14 cm plus-minus 0.5 cm.

Po Lin burst out laughing. Vasily went completely limp:
- Девчонки, вы что, издеваетесь?
- А он первый начал! - En fin, Gella laughed too.

- You hadn't to do so, - Po Lin said, - Look what you've done.. Was it difficult to shove the tape so that another centimeter would run?
- Sorry.. - Gella said. - Yes, it was difficult. It was impossible. For such a trick, the rector would have to kick me out of the university. Scientific fraud. Incompatible with status of researcher.
- But I want my Vasili.. now..
- How about to play "odd-even"?
- Yes. Come on, Gella.
- Vasili, please, come to us. - Gella said. Let me be odd, and Polina will be even.. Please, slowly.. Good!.. Now to Polina.. Then to me.. Vasili, I love you..

Vasily got excited again, felt into ecstasy, and, finally, cum, trying to honestly divide his load equally between Po Lin and Gella. Then he lost consciousness and fell asleep.

- He is good, Polina, - Gella said, - I am glad, that you got him. Please, treat him well.. He was so worry about me with the Clever Times and then, about the Paygirl.. I felt his worry, and it helped me to act well..
- Gella, what for was all this circus with the tape-meter?
- Mama says, "If you love me, you should love also my partner". I love you. Hence, I love Pupkin too.
- How is it related with the tape-meter?
- The tape-meter was a pretext to come to your bed..
- Couldn't you say explicitly, what do you want?
- Polina, how to say.. I am so shy.. You have hundred times more experience, than I am.. I study, I work, and I have no time to glue boys at your shop, while you do it everyday.. And also, you have Vasili.. And also, Li Sitsin.. Li Sitsin never did it with me.. I have only Papa and Mama.. But they work so hardly; sometimes, they return home and just sleep.. Well, also, some professors, if I get qualification A+.. But it is very difficult to get A+.. And then, it is difficult to switch me to the relax.. Often, I feel myself so cold, as if I would be a fish.. The 5 years at the University, I feel them, as they would be 50.. I want to graduate quickly, in order to finish this koshmar.. With the study, I know almost nothing about life.. I want a baby.. I mean, my own baby.. I want to find a good work, just to stop this horrible study.. As for the tape-meter.. I found the solution, and I thought, it is good.. By the way, have you found the bug in your balance calculator?
- Not yet.
- May look at it?
- Perhaps, you are tired..
- Well, let us look, and then we think, what to do with it.. Vasili's screen is too small, perhaps, better, we go to your shop.
- You need to take shower.. Or I lick you out..
- I do you too. Taste of Vasili..
- Well, 5 minutes, and we go to the shop.

The "5 minutes" happened to be 15; but en fin, Po Lin and Gella Ivanov were driving from the Pupkin's home to the Po Lin Shop.



Po Lin and Gella entered the main office of the Po Lin Shop. Po Lin warned:
- But we should be careful, not to destroy that I have..
- First, let us make the working copy of that you have.. Do you have a clean computer for this exersise?
- Yes, of course!..
- Is this your database?
- Yes.
- So, I copy all..
- I already tried this..
- But you did not have me that time..
- It is supposed to be the same..
- Let us see.. Coping finished.. what command to you use to evaluate the income?
- Just "income".
- And expenses?
- "spent".
- Is this previous balance?
- Yes. And this is current.
- And if I sum these numbers?
- The sum is supposed to be zero..
- 7.1698 funs. Here we have.
- This may mean, that I have some goods for this amount, that are not detected by the monitoring system.
- May be, some staff is felt behind the shells?
- I checked. There is nothing there. They are phantoms. As if they are already sold and counted, but still here.
- May be, something is stolen? It was popular in century 21.
- Stolen goods appear in category "Lost". There is nothing there.
- Sorry, I am stupid, no one burglar brings items to a market. Can we make the list of these phantoms?
- Yes, I begun with this. The list is empty..
- It cannot be, Po Lin. Every item either present in the database, or it is absent.

The vain attempts continued during an hour. Gella said:
- It seems, database fails. It is not supposed to be so. Let us save the data and import them to the new database.
- Another computer?
- Yes, please.. May I erase and reinstall it?
- Yes.

Preparation of the new hosting took certain time. While, Po Lin and Gella eaten the "second dinner". After the loading of the databases, the abrakadabra appeared instead of names of some products.

- Some fonts are not loaded, Gella said. - Why do you use these characters?
- These fonts were supported in the previous version..

Gella approached the screen, investigated an example of a table, and asked:
- What is this?
- Honey.
- Why it appeared so?
- It is Russian word "мёд". The specification looks fine..
- Uhu.. - Gella scratched her head. - Then, the same abrakadabra should appear also in the table of delivery.
- It is here.
- There is no abrakadabra, just "мёд".
- I do not know, what is happening, but it is honey. Look at this frame, the camera shows, that it is on the shelf.
- It cannot be so, - Gella said uncertainly, - the item is not supposed to change its identification.
- It is the same, just the font is not supported.
- I do not know, how to explain..
- Скажи по-русски..
- Letter ё can be written in different ways. And not only "ё". Also, "й". Perhaps, the Chinese characters too.
- And so?
- I think, it is the matter. For the counting system, the two ways of encoding are not the same.
- What is the matter?
- The program counts it twice. It does not know, that this abracadabra and "мёд" is the same pack of honey. - And you know, how to correct it?
- I think so. How many items have Russian names?
- Only few..
- They cause disbalance.
- Should I replace them?
- Can we transliterate them to Ascii?
- mm.. I afraid to destroy it..
- It is copy, Po Lin!..
- Gella what are you doing?
- I replace sequence of bytes 208,181,204,136 to 209,245.
it is either ё or abracabra, dependently on the setting of the interface.. You see, the abracadabra becomes "мёд"..
Now the same about й. I replace sequence 208,184,204,134 to 209,145.
Now this absurd became "Крем Вайгач". It seems to work.. Let us now check the balance.. Zero! Here you are!


- Will it work at the original?
- It is supposed to.. We may need the same for capital "Ё" and capital "Й".
- I have no items with names with capital "Ё". Nor those with capital "Й"..
- Even better. - May I do the same in the main database?
- I think so. Why do you ask, this is your property.
- Should I save the copy before?
- Yes, of course, you should have a copy. If we make an error, it makes sense..
- I lost the frame with the replacement.
- It is not at this computer. But we need only few characters, I take them from my biper:
Bytes 208,181,204,136 to 209,245.
Bytes 208,184,204,134 to 209,145.
Shall we do capitals too?..
- Gella, Spasibo!!! I think, I understand! I hope, I make the capitals by myself..
- So, I go home?
- Your car as Pupkin.
- Do you go to Pupkin?
- Yes. Let us go.

At Pupkin, Po Lin asked:
- Do you want to stay with Vasili a little bit more?
- Not now. I go home. Hochu k mame.

At home, Tika and Matvei were not sleeping. Gella said:
- Mama, papa, I love you! Why do not you sleep?
- We were tracing you. - Tika said. - You did great!
- Uhu. Papa, I need you.. I just take a shower.. Go to the bed, I'll be in few minutes..

Gella dried with towel, gave Tika and Matvei the hot hug and said:
- Мам, всё равно папа Матвей самый лучший, правда?
- Конечно, дочка!

Indira Brahmin


Early in the morning, Gella Ivanov appeared in the office of her boss, Lesli Landov, dean of the Biology Department of the University of Galia. Lesli Ivanov was there with a red-skin girl, a little bit older, than Gella.

- Hola, - Gella said.
- Hello, Gella. - Landov said. - Here is Indira Brahmin, our new secretute.
- Good morning, miss Gella, - Indira said. Nice to meet you.
- Gella, you should teach Indira to use our database, to sort the messages, to reply them, etc.
- And me?
- You have to finish your study. You have left the Humanity, the Quantum mechanics and .. aa..
- And Networking. And thesis.
- Yes. And the Networking. I know, you have learned well, but we need the formal qualification to graduate you. And your thesis, of course. I browsed the draft. I estimate, you need a month to finish it.
- Will Indira serve my duties?
- Yes. Working with you, I felt, as if I would use a microscope as a hammer.
- Shall I have to search for a new employer?
- Perhaps, not. Only if you like. I had recommended you to the Federal Commission on Textbooks.. I think, you'll be the "author-consultant". Ho do you like this?
- Landov pro, you did not even discuss this with me.
- Gella, it was a little bit spontaneous.. Anyway, you were occupied with your classes and.. how to say.. With the American journalists. And with your honest and valuable support of the National Commerce..
- Po Lin?
- Yes.. Well, let me continue. The American Christian Society want to adopt you. Indira, could you please find that letter and show it to the big screen.. And they agree to pay the "high adoption fee".. If we talk without diplomacy, they want me to convince your parents to sell you.
- Tika and Matvei?? - Gella asked, - Sell me???
- Yes. I know, they will not sell you, but, any way, such letters are stressful for them..

Gella felt, as is she would do some skydiving or even basejumping.

Landov continued:
Then, the European association "Love Without Restrictions" want to employ you.. I suspect, with the similar goals. Indira, please, this letter too.. Gella, you know, your interview with the Clever Times leaked and spread in the networks.. Yes, the vandalized version. The USA block the access to our library; so, the perverted version spreads faster, than the original.. And the comment about it too.. Indira, please, put also the article, leaked from the Clever Times, on the screen, there is still some space there..
- The "Tartarian pre-teen sex-slave"? - Indira asked.
- Yes, Indira.. - Landov confirmed. - Gella, the matter is, that they consider you as.. how to say.. undergraduated, so, the letters and calls go to me. Actually, to Indira; and she needs to learn, how to handle them. They are too many. You should teach her to write robots for this.. Then, Indira takes your job, because you need to work at your thesis, we need to upgrade your status as soon as possible, to stop this international bzz around you..

After a pause, Lesli Landov continued:
- But I would like you to stay here; I mean, if not at our department, but at least, in our University. So, I recommended you to that commission..
- Thank you, Lesli pro.
- About the commission. There are old professors there. They are, softly speaking, not efficient. Ruvim Pechor had suggested to use help of the students. They advanced well, but.. Since his departure, that project seems to be stalled.. One of the problems, the students have not enough time to work on the project.. As a result, we still have to use the American and the European textbooks. They are not adopted to needs of the Tartarian education. We need modern textbooks. This should be full-time employment for you.
- Why don't you buy Ruvim Pechor from Komi to work at the University?
- This is, how to say, politics.. Sometimes this is beyond common sense.. Well, Now I leave you with Indira. She will need your help at least during first days. When do you have a class you need to assist?
- In one hour, I have appointment with my adviser..
- Very good. Give to Indira 40 minutes, and then go to your class.. As for your schedule at my office, consider it to be cancelled. Help to Indira, when you have time. Teach her, how to prepare the releasing of you from duties of secretute.. I failed to inform your parents in time, the events are developing faster, than I expected. So you'll get the two months salary ahead. I hope, in these two months, we'll graduate you, so, you'll have no problem with the financial support of you activity. Does it work for you? - Yes, - Gella said..

The free access to the total monitoring system makes illusion of the awareness. However, it is only illusion. Human cannot follow thousands of videocameras, conversations, messages, related to his or to her. If Gella took care of the intrigues around her, she would have known about Indira earlier. But Gella simply did not have time to check the news prompted by her self-written robot.

"Even if I would know about Indira earlier, there was no possibility to do better. Perhaps, even if I knew, I would do just the same", - Gella thought.

Gella showed Indira, how to prepare documents for the dismissal of one secretute and the employment of a new one. How to handle bureaucratic documents and external correspondence of the Biologic Department of the Federal University of Tartaria in Galia. And many other things.

Teaching someone to do something you’ve already learned well is not much easier than doing it yourself. During few days, Gella felt the same stress, as in previous years at the University. Then, Gella found, that Indira can do the most of bureaucratic job. And Gella felt herself better.



Gella Ivanov, Indira Brahmin, Po Lin, Tartaria, Vasili Pupkin,